Jan 31, 2006
“Make no mistake, we have hunted down those that would try to harm us 9-11 and we will bring 9-11 evildoers to justice 9-11. Amerca is a safer 9-11 place, terrorism, freedom, vital mission, secure, secure, terror, freedom, freedom, vital homeland security Amerca! Further more, tax relief, working families, no child left behind, safer, freedom, freedom, 9-11, terror, terror, freedom, God Bless Amerca.”
Then I will turn to Dan and we will try not to puke on each other and wish we’d watched a movie instead.
Jan 30, 2006
The Dian Fossey’s Gorilla's in the Mist approach really would be the better way to go. Sit quietly near the primate and don't make eye contact, be nonchalant. Perhaps move closer and let the primate groom you, she/he may want to pick your nose, maul your sparkly earrings or just pull on your lips. Once this ‘contact’ has been made you know it’s safe to attempt to teach the young primate how to color or glue sparkles to a piece of construction paper. Above all remember that these little ones my look cute and cuddly, but they are really very dangerous, they have very sharp teeth, and ear piercing cry and parents that will not hesitate to rip your arms off and beat you with them should you cause harm to the little ones, but please, try and relax anyway.
Jan 29, 2006
2. Learn to dance the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for Heather (and weddings)
3. Totally drink less
4. Teach Jennie how to dip and be dipped, then we can double dip (ok, I know that was bad, give me a break I'm hung over)
Jan 28, 2006
Aha! Here you are internets - wrap your minds around this and then apply it to the discussion we're having. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8101517/site/newsweek/from/RL.4/
In other news:
My dear Ella has taken to announcing who she is all the time like she's Denny Crane.
Gramma: Did you go to school today?
Ella: Yep, going to school, I'm Ella
Dan: I'm going bye bye sweetie I'm going to work
Ella: Bye Dad, love you, I'm Ella
Me: Come eat breakfast sweetie
Ella: I'm Ella
Jan 27, 2006
Twisty’s post today was oddly connected in the same idea when she wrote, “The designers of the kitten cover, both women, defended their stupidity with some asinine bullshit about “re-appropriating” degrading stereotypes.”
I followed Twisty’s link and read this “But we honestly believe you can change connotations by re-appropriating them (especially with humor). That’s why it’s OK for Spike Lee to make a movie about minstrel shows but it would not be OK if Woody Allen did. Mel Brooks can get away for Springtime for Hitler, but Prussian Blue can’t … context is everything.”
So here’s the new question: Does embracing a derogatory label ever re-appropriate it’s connotation or does it help perpetuate it’s offensive use?
Should we embrace “Bitch”?
We vote, we work, we make laws, we raise families, we worship, we enjoy all of the wonderful things that all American’s enjoy yet we are oppressed by our culture in ways we no longer notice. I am speaking on a more personal level about women’s liberation. I think a liberated woman should feel her ideas are free to be spoken and shared and pursued without fear of her government, her peers, her school, her family, or her friends.
How simple it sounds – to be able to speak your mind without fear.
-I’m voting for
-Give me a day off and a raise
-I will breastfeed here in public
-I don’t like your boyfriend
-I like bright red lipstick
-I’m in love with you
-It’s my body
-I will not clean the house today
-I can’t help you
-I’m never going to wear panty hose again
-I will dye my hair blue
-Because I said so
How hard it actually is to do. I thought I didn’t have good friendships because I was picked on as a child and as a result became opinionated but it occurred to me, maybe I was disliked because I am outspoken. It’s a threat “Wait a minute, that one there, she isn’t acting like she’s supposed to. Quick shoot her, she’s probably gone rabid!” The dissent can liberate one from what I think are antiquated social mores and sometimes they liberate one from friendships. So it goes, there is always a price and that is why it is hard.
We’ve all grown up with the knowledge that the same characteristics that can make a man an honest and fair leader make a woman a heartless and bossy bitch. The same honest character that makes men invite my husband to stand for them in their weddings keeps me from standing in anyone’s. I’ve heard “opinionated”, “judgmental”, “blunt”, “critical”, “disapproving”, “harsh”, “frigid”, “cold”, “unsympathetic”, “callous”, “aggressive”, “ruthless”, “inconsiderate”, “severe”, “insensitive”, and “defiant”. I wear these titles proudly as they have been given to me many times since I was a girl, so many times they no longer have a negative meaning for me as I remember the double standard and they represent my liberation.
Because I said so.
Women's Lib Casserole postcard
Jan 26, 2006
Ella would like to give a shout out to Gamma and Gapa (aka Mamma & Papa) who recently got “G”s added to their names. Congratulations folks!
In other news:
I finished “Christ The Lord, Out of Egypt” by Anne Rice. Dan read it first so there were some conversations that went like this:
Me: I’m on chapter 4, does this thing pick up at all?
Dan: Well, not really. He’s only 7 he doesn’t start smiting people on a regular basis till later in the bible
Me: Crap, I’m going to read faster
Me: This book makes me hungry
Dan: Hungry for knowledge?
Me: No, just hungry, there is just a lot of feasting. There are olives and baking bread and figs soaked in honey and fresh lamb in spices and wine sauce and un-leavened bread, yeah I’m hungry.
Me: So the whole book is really just like any other 8 year old asking his parents where he came from and how babies are made and the parents not wanting to answer all those tough questions and trying to consider if the child is old enough to know these things.
Dan: That’s a modern thought. My dad grew up on a farm and farm kids totally knew how the baby cows were made they didn’t need to ask how it worked. Besides Jesus wasn’t asking where he came from, really he was asking who his father was.
Me: Wow, I suppose that is a modern dilemma, or a city kid dilemma.
Dan: And I think Anne Rice meant for you to think of Jesus’ situation as a little more serious than “That’s a good question son, you better go ask your mother.” Or “Here read this book called ‘Our Bodies Ourselves’ and if you have any questions let me know.
Me: Well I’m glad it got better – even though the pace never really picked up. Maybe she should’ve tossed in more miracles or something.
Dan: I’m not sure that would’ve been accurate.
Me: Accurate Schmaccurate, more miracles and less food, that’s what I say.
(Ok Act III didn’t really sound like that, but you get the gist– and beside I never let things like accuracy get in the way of a good story).
Jan 24, 2006
1. Each participant has to have at least a 3.75 GPA. and an impressive plan for the future.
2. Each woman must be registered to vote and have something intelligent to say about politics (city, state, national, global - whatever) to prove they are an informed voter.
3. Women would be allowed no makeup (yeah you heard me – NONE)
4. Women would be disqualified for plastic surgeries, died hair, duct-taped boobies and all other illusions of the body, including fake nails.
5. Women will perform feats of athleticism to prove their health and endurance
6. There will still be an evening wear competition, makeup will be allowed. (I can't completely give up the pretty, but gowns aren't necessary, one may wear a pantsuit or tight jeans and a sparkly shirt if so desired)
7. Two talent competitions; the first will be entertaining and the second will be useful to society ie: a contestant may be able to juggle or sing but then she must also be able to effectively lobby in favor gun control or vaccinate Bangladeshi orphans against polio.
8. In place of the swimsuit competition we would just have them come out nude. It would demystify women’s bodies and girls could actually compare their own breasts to the sag of a real breast (see #3). What’s the point of a swimsuit anyway? You can see most if them already.
9. The judges get to ask her parents about her most embarrassing moment (it’ll be like a national televised embarrassing Thanksgiving dinner conversation).
10. The people get to vote by phone/internet (like American Idol)
11. The winner gets to represent our youth by being an honorary cabinet member to the President of the United States of America.
12. No crown, as America is not a Monarchy the winner gets letterhead and a pen, ok maybe some flowers too.
I can’t think of any more. Please feel free to add.
Thanks again Jennie for the inspiration.
Jan 23, 2006
I stopped in the hallway and peeked through the window at Ella standing there dumbfounded that I had actually left, Anne trying desperately to get her attention with a stuffed bunny. Ella was shaken out of her catatonic state by a little boy by the door that started to scream “I want my Mommy!” I snapped these pictures and left.
What is running through my mind next:
-What if they break her
-I have to call Dan
-What if they loose her
-What if she is crying the whole time
-I’m the first mom to get into the car, why is that
-What if someone starts shooting up the school and they don’t know anything about her with no name tag and no last name they’ll just know she’s Ella and that’s all and no phone number accept for written inside her jacket and nobody looks there
-What if she doesn’t miss me
-How far away is 10:45
-Why didn’t she cry and hold onto my leg
-Is it 10:30 yet
-What is it that I was supposed to get at the grocery store all I can remember is onions, I can’t believe my big grocery trip without Ella was spent buying onions and frappuccino
-I wonder if Anne baby-sits
-Is it 10:30 yet
*Playschool is were the highschool kids get to practice running a daycare in their child development class. It's for children age 2 & 3. It's from 9:45 to 10:45 every other day for 5 weeks. She's going to love it. She's been saying for weeks "Im goin' school!" and we've been practicing "Hi, I'm Ella, what's your name?"
Jan 21, 2006
Here’s the thing, I have been to strip clubs and I have known strippers (In College) and the following conversation is not about the art of Burlesque or Naked Showgirls or people who are in the sex industry of their own choosing. I am referring to the 18 year old girl who is in a dark smoky bar humping a silver pole with three dollar bills in her g-string and a string bikini top covering her newly bought boobs, while five drunk young men hoot and jeer at her feet.
Stripping is an easy way to make money but at 18 one is too immature to make rational decisions about one’s exploitation. These young women might think they have sexual power and prowess over their drooling minions, but likely can’t buy a beer yet and may feel later that they could never run for congress because of their actions. Now being a congresswoman - that's real power! In short practicing, promoting and accepting the objectification of a young adult (male or female) makes prostitution and slave trafficking that much easier and accepted by society as a whole.
Ok call me a prude, I think all strippers should at least be old enough to rent a car on their own before taking the job. (25 years old) It would just make me feel better.
Jan 20, 2006
Part one was a little like a text book. A good text book, like one written by that really good History teacher you had in college who told a story about how his wife got the shits in New Delhi on vacation totally forcing you to remember for the rest of your life the capital is New Delhi and the population is over 1,000,000,000 and clean water is a problem. Part one was devoured the first day.
Part two came just in time. I started to look ahead and wonder if there was ever going to be any action. I said to Dan “It’s like a conversation with an old hippy, lots of philosophy and color and no point”. Alas the first paragraph of part two is shocking and dire. So I sat until 1:00am reading as much of part two as I could. The whole next day I thought about Pi and his situation, I agonized until I could find out what happened.
Part three was very short and went by in minutes after the epic second half of part two. I nearly choked on it I ate it up so fast. I had to stop to enjoy it several times. I was very satisfied with it all. I am glad I read it and I find my mind wandering back to it throughout my day and considered reading it again (yes, twice in a row).
Dear Bush administration, if you want to know what the American public is writing about and thinking of, freaking ask us! Go out and talk to people. Read the paper and watch some news! Some people actually put their lives wide open out onto the internet and then we beg people to read it.
Jan 19, 2006
And now I shall post a photo that entertained me to no end. Ella set the table Monday night (Paper plates and cupcake papers). She also sang Happy Birthday to herself. There was a plate for Mommy, Daddy and Ella and then there was a fourth table setting. Here's what it looked like.
Jan 17, 2006
Me: "Come on, really, what does a mature 33 year old emergency room Doctor have in common with a 22 year old Canadian student who likes to camp?"
Him: "Um, they both like her butt."
I'm in WI for the evening folks, I'm taking Ella to Grandma& Grandpa's Cabin - don't fret we'll be back tomorrow night.
Jan 16, 2006
“Suppose you could erase bad memories from your mind. Suppose, as in a recent movie, your brain could be wiped clean of sad and traumatic thoughts.
That is science fiction. But real-world scientists are working on the next-best thing…
…The need for better treatment grows daily as American troops return from Iraq and Afghanistan with wounded minds as well as bodies. One government survey found almost one in six showing symptoms of mental stress, including many with post-traumatic stress disorder. Disability payments related to the illness cost the government more than $4 billion a year.”
I read this article yesterday and I’m alarmed. There is such a large possibility for abuse with a pill like this. I don’t mean like ‘housewives and Vicodin abuse’ I mean ‘reverse Clockwork Orange abuse’. I believe things that are distressing and unforgettable have deep purpose and meaning. They allow us passion and drive. They fuel politics and art. They inspire and warn.
We are meant to experience trauma in a highly negative way. The implications of erasing difficult feelings with a pill instead of working through would make the human race psychologically weak. It would devastate self esteem earned through triumph of the human spirit. People and societies who exhibit self destructive behaviors may never evolve.
Epic tales of sorrow will become fiction.
Courage will hold no meaning.
Dear reader would you pop a sad pill? I would not and I say -
Jan 15, 2006
This sweet couple sat in front of us
Ella had a lolly to keep her busy
The sunset on the way to the reception
The mother of the groom made all these cakes.
The place settings at the head table
Jazz on the dance floor
As promised a glimpse of the ludicrous cleavage shirt. I decided to wear it after a wise lady to me to "launch 'em if ya got 'em". Well, I launched 'em under a nice suede geen jacket and white scarf (as seen above).
Thanks wise lady
Jan 14, 2006
Him: Why, I think it looks really good?
Me: Because I have ludicrous cleavage when I wear it
Him: That’s because you have ludicrous cleavage
Me: You’re not helping
Him: I’d hump on you
Jan 13, 2006
Years ago I stumbled on this guy Eduardo Kac who thought something new, kind of a The Island of Dr. Moreau meets the digital age* art. He mixed bunny genes with jellyfish genes to create a glow in the dark bunny named Alba. “Transgenic art, I proposed elsewhere , is a new art form based on the use of genetic engineering to transfer natural or synthetic genes to an organism, to create unique living beings.” said Kac. I was enamored by this idea in that it was NEW to me, it renewed my faith that I had not ‘seen it all’ before.
This morning I read about Glowing Green Pigs Bred in Taiwan and this time they’re doing it in the name of saving human lives. What started as an argument with artist friends “Just because we can, should we?” has ended with a resounding “Yes, we should” – this time.
* http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+digital+age <--How can this be?!
Jan 12, 2006
Me: Are you my Munchie Pie?
Very serious Ella pointing to herself: No Mommy, I not Munchie Pie, I Ella.
Me: Are you hungry?
Ella nodding: I hunnngey!
Me: What would you like to eat?
Ella: How ‘bout bo-nah-nah!?
Me: Ok, I’ll get you a banana
Ella: Horay! Bo-nah-nah’s here.
Ella: Day-day needs pets, ‘cause she’s just a dog
Ella Dresses in sparkly gown and crown: Momma? Where’s my wand?
"It took her all afternoon to finish the crossword"
Jan 11, 2006
1. Domestic rule is oblivious to blight of the poor resulting in famine, disease and natural disaster claiming countless lives.
2. Oppression of women’s rights occurs in the name of saving their immortal souls
3. Criminals are punished by death
4. Torture is an accepted method to coerce a confession
5. One accusation by a reputable plaintiff can land you in a torturous situation without legal representation
6. The general population is fascinated with the patrician class and follows every petite breakup with a fervor
7. Science is denounced as heretics and religion moves to the forefront
8. Leaders tout ‘divine right’ to their position
All winners will come to the conclusion there really are no winners.
Jan 10, 2006
It was ok though, I had been picked on before, I could certainly handle anything a seamstress could dish. I just yanked up my shirt and flashed her my itty-bitties Jerry Springer style and told her to 'bring it beeeeyotch!'. She lunged for me with scissors in one hand and long red finger nails scratching for my face. I threw a nearby container of tiny pearl beads into her eyes and judo chopped her left shoulder. "How ya like me now?" I yelled while my Grandma tried to pull us apart.
Ok really, I just wore a padded bra.
Thank you Jennie for helping me 'remember' this story and KTJ for the totally best wedding photo I own.
Jan 9, 2006
I’m stressed about this, ergo - the list;
1. It's not her fault her birthday is next to Christmas.
2. She is well rounded, I say “no” sometimes.
3. She shares (if she’s well rested).
4. Birthday parties are decadent – they are supposed to be.
5. My new year’s resolution is to revel in the good life and stop teaching my daughter how to be a martyr.
I should erase all of the above and just say this.
Without further ado - photos!
Happy Birthday Dear Ella, We are so proud of you. You unwrapped each of your presents with the flourish of a toreador and shared all of them as best you could. You liked your toys but you loved your company. You told everyone "Thank You". You passed out kisses and hugs like water and you smiled and enjoyed your day. Love, Mom & Dad
Jan 6, 2006
Jan 5, 2006
Jan 4, 2006
In other developments we are going to go see King Kong tonight after I pick up my newly repaired van. Tomorrow I will be cleaning like mad and packing up toys. I have only mentally packed up Ella’s neglected toys so far. I’m sure if I do it while she’s looking she will rediscover them all and they will be her new favorites. Friday, Christmas will go away in preparation for Birthday. Next week I will catch my breath and have a hot chocolate in the bath tub, with bubbles and marshmallows. You can decide which goes were – I won’t care.
Jan 3, 2006
I’m sorry, I liked 2005. It was comfortable and yummy and warm and filled with sandboxes and swimmy classes and romance and nights out with friends and blogging. I am concerned that friends and family are having a less than lustrous beginning to the New Year but here is what I decided for 2005. The above apology will be my last in that I am no longer feeling bad for my successes. Should one ask me how I am, the response will be a resounding “Fabulous, perfect and couldn’t be better! Ella is happy, well adjusted and smart as a whip, my house is toasty warm and nice, I lost all my baby weight and Dan is handsome as ever.” If housewife up the street starts to tout her husband’s inadequacies, I will no longer respond with “Yeah, well Dan is bad at laundry.” You are more likely to hear “That’s too bad, my husband does the laundry, and he’s such a sweetie.”
It’s been my problem for a while and I believe it has to do with feelings of undeserved-ness. I sometimes feel like tragedy is perched on the edge of my life waiting for me to get comfortable so she can hurl herself into my lap and feast upon my shock. Perhaps I complain so as to not tempt the fates – or out of concern for other's feelings. I think there is a fine line between conveying good news and boasting. I will discover the audacity to tap dance on that line this year - it’s my resolution for 2006 to revel in my fabulous life. (Cross my self twice and spit, throw salt over my shoulder knock on wood and cross myself again.) Wish me luck.
Jan 2, 2006
A Small List of Things I Like:
Long hot bubble baths
Great fitting blue jeans
Getting feedback on my blog (thank you internets)
Getting the perfect photo
A brand new pen, crayon, marker or set of paints
Running my fingers through Ella’s hair
Finishing the crossword
Jan 1, 2006
While Jennie (above) and I and the rest of the grown ups lounged around drinking Cosmopolitans, our toddlers were on a date. First they had dinner and polite conversation
Then they moved over by the Christmas tree where Sugar Lips played the tiny piano and serenaded Ella and my husband got nervous about the nick-name Sugar Lips.